Gerry McDonnell asked:


Saying goodbye to the football season is very much like giving birth to a ginger child: after nine months of optimism, hope and anguish, you’re left with a genuine feeling of disappointment.

The final day is often emotional. Who could forget Arsenal pipping Liverpool to the title in 1989? Well sadly, my old man. In fact, if you see a small befuddled pensioner roaming the streets, you’ll be better off avoiding football trivia altogether; senility is no picnic.

I’m absolutely devastated that I have to work on Sunday as the drama unfolds. The gaffer has offered me double time and a day in lieu though, which I’m reasonably happy with; but it hasn’t gone down too well with Louise.

Lou hasn’t been this upset since Liverpool were beaten by Chelsea in the Champions League semi-final. Liverpool supporters are like Paul McCartney on his wedding night; they’re struggling to get over a disappointing second leg.

Steven ‘more dives than Glasgow’ Gerrard will hope to inspire his team-mates to a win over Spurs, but I fancy the Tottenham boys at 9/5. They can be heroes, just for Juande.

Manchester United are on the verge of winning the title and I’m particularly pleased for Paul Scholes. There was a worry that Paul’s career was over as a result of blurred vision, practically confirming what my mother told me. I’ll have my head in my hands if Manchester United fail to beat Wigan at 1/4.

As is often the case in such a high profile match, there has been plenty of early activity in the first goal scorer market. Bookmakers have already seen a monkey on Ronaldo, a pony on Carlos Tevez and an old dog on Wayne Rooney.

A recently discovered tribe of Congolese pygmies have admitted knowing absolutely nothing of western civilisation, other than the fact that Steven Gerrard is better at football than Frank Lampard.

Frank simply isn’t that great a player, most of his goals come from his close relationship with the O’Shea family, notably Rick. Frank would need 29 attempts to score on an 18-30 stone holiday.

Frank will not be happy about Chelsea finishing second best to Manchester United. I remember how upset he was when I first suggested that he had a weight problem - he sent me a text that read, ‘gbvsdfabdsb’.

Ashley Cole will also be unhappy with a runners-up spot. The overrated full-back is desperate for success to cement his role as a celebrity. He’s already been offered a spot on next week’s Jonathan Ross show, he just needs to find three pals and a piano. Chelsea are certainties to beat Bolton, i’m all over the 1/6 like John Terry on a referee.

I’m no stranger to disappointment; I once watched all of Soccer AM. Alex McLeish can empathise, he would give his right arm for Birmingham to avoid relegation, but a trade of that magnitude has only ever come off for Heather Mills. I’m backing Blackburn to beat the Blues at 3/1, but be warned, the price is dropping quicker than Steven Gerrard in a penalty area.

Reading are a lot like Princess Diana, they used to look good, but they’ve hit a wall.

The wife is praying that the Royals stay up, as she’s supported them ever since her English teacher wrote ‘reading difficulties’ on her school report.

I also hope that Reading beat Derby, as I’m not a great fan of Robbie Savage - I can’t forget how he kicked me off the waltzers when I was young. I can’t let my heart rule my head though, I’m going to be like Robbie and mark the coupon with an ‘X’ at 7/2.

Portsmouth are currently wobbling like a jelly on a drunken Sumo wrestler - they haven’t won in their last handful of games. Actually, they haven’t won in their last four games, so it’s more of a Jeremy Beadle handful.

I’d like to see Pompey beat Fulham as I have an enormous amount of sympathy for Harry Redknapp; he’s been the subject of more enquiries than the 118-118 guys.

Hollywood should make a film of Harry’s life, they could call it ‘The buying, the twitch and the fraud probe.’

A case can be made for backing Portsmouth at 5/2 to beat Fulham, but it has more holes than Pete Doherty. I’m going to be like David Cameron in college; and get stuck into the draw at 11/4.

Hopefully, my son will become a professional footballer. The last time we had a kick around in the back garden, he nutmegged me twice; nobody’s regretted opening their legs on two separate occasions since Mrs Neville.

Phil Neville is like the sun, you should never look directly at him. The lesser of two evils is surprisingly quite bright, he can quote the old Chinese proverb: ‘Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day; give him twelve cans of lager, and he’ll think that Newcastle are worth a bet at Goodison Park.

You don’t have to be Stephen Hawking to realise that Everton are nailed on at 10/11, even Mrs Hawking could work that one out; if she wasn’t down the gym working the bags.

I once said that Benjani couldn’t hit a cow’s **** with a banjo. If we were ever to meet, he’d probably want to hit me; i’d better change my name to Annette.

On a related note, I once tried to hit a cow’s **** with a banjo - at least that’s what I told the police officer, although the lack of a banjo aroused some suspicion.

Middlesbrough are a riddle, wrapped up in an enigma, shrouded in mystery, situated in a hole. The 11/10 for a Boro win over Manchester City is the most enticing proposition since Ulrika Johnson offered Sven Goran Eriksson a little slice of Swedish fish pie.

Is it wrong for me to continually speak of my admiration for Cesc Fabregas? Apparently, it is during lovemaking.

Cesc is a little magician. He’ll have a great future in the game as long as he avoids Debbie McGee. Arsenal are a great bet at 10/11 to beat Sunderland, it’s as clear as the chin on Frank Lampard’s chin.



As an Aston Villa supporter, i’m a huge fan of Randy Lerner. I’m not ashamed to say that all it took to make me happy was just one little Yank.

I did read that a healthy male averages 20 minutes when expressing his love physically; I’m assuming that includes the taxi journey and the queue for the cashpoint. I’ll be throwing my cash on a West Ham win over the Villa; the 12/5 is positively pulchritudinous.

The Premier League remains my true love, but I’ve occasionally strayed into the arms of the football league, the SPL, the conference and the Paralympics. I’m a little bit uncomfortable about watching football at such a poor level though, but Rangers have made it into the UEFA Cup final.

I’m often asked why I appear reluctant to share my expertise on the Scottish football scene. I can assure you it’s not a result of xenophobia; some of my best friends know Scottish people. I know that a Celtic win over Hibernian at 1/4 will practically wrap up the title for the Bhoys.

My computer is a lot like the wife, if the information is punched in correctly, positive results are guaranteed. My spreadsheet plays a sound if the odds offered on an accer are greater than the actual probability of success: when I placed 16/1 next to Middlesbrough, Tottenham and West Ham, it whipped out a guitar.



Edwin

Marvin J Markus asked:


es 7th album, Revolver, is considered by many music experts to be one of the greatest albums of all time. For example it was ranked #3 on Rolling Stone magazine’s 2003 list of the 500 greatest albums of all time.

The album includes some of The Beatles best known songs including “Eleanor Rigby” & “Yellow Submarine” and it also includes some of their most experimental songs, in particular “Tomorrow Never Knows” which closes the album in futuristic fashion. Even today, many years later, “Tomorrow Never Knows” sounds like the distant future to me.

Revolver includes an incredible variety of songs from the rock of “Taxman” to the childlike “Yellow Submarine” to the Indian music influenced “Love You To.” It has been said that every song on Revolver started a new sub genre of rock music and I would say that’s probably only a slight exaggeration.

Another factor that makes Revolver really stand out among Beatles albums is how evenly the songwriting duties were spread out among Lennon, McCartney, & Harrison than on most of their albums. George Harrison really made himself known as a songwriter with this album. 3 of the album’s 14 songs were his, 6 were primarily Paul McCartney’s, and 5 were primarily John Lennon’s.

While the album doesn’t have the same flow to it that their next album (1967’s Sgt. Pepper) would have, it does arguably have more consistency. There really are no weak points in the album. Every song on Revolver has it’s charms.

Looking at the songs that Paul McCartney wrote for this album in particular is very impressive: “Yellow Submarine,” “Here, There and Everywhere,” “Eleanor Rigby,” “For No One,” “Got to Get You into My Life,” & “Good Day Sunshine.” Talk about timeless classics. McCartney really couldn’t do any wrong at this point. While almost everyone knows “Eleanor Rigby” & “Yellow Submarine” (and “Got to Get You into My Life” is very well known too) the other songs are just as excellent.

McCartney himself has said that “Here, There and Everywhere” is one of own favorites. For me “For No One” is right there with it. These are songs that are just too beautiful and too perfect for words to properly describe.

It’s sometimes said that Rubber Soul was The Beatles “marijuana album” and Revolver was their “LSD album” (or their first LSD album, there would be more to come!) And I can definitely see where that perspective comes from. Revolver is an album of ideas. The arrangements and instrumentation are very thoughtful. This is really music to really listen to, not just to sing along to. This is “art rock.” But it’s usually subtle enough in it’s artiness (”Tomorrow Never Knows” & “Love You To” being some obvious exceptions) that just regular music listeners (rather than true music lovers) can get down to the tunes too.

While Revolver isn’t actually my favorite Beatles album (The White Album takes that honor for me) it is an amazing album that deserves all of the accolades it has received.



Nellie

Lissette Robaina asked:


In the 1960’s The Beatles a group from Liverpool, England invaded the USA known as the British Invasion. The group included Paul McCartney, John Lennon, George Harrison and Ringo Star; they would become the most commercially successful and critically acclaimed bands in the history of popular music. Selling over a billion records internationally The Beatles released more than 40 different singles, albums and EPs that made it to number one on the charts.

 In 1957 John Lennon and Paul McCartney met in grammar School, at the time John Lennon had a group called the Quarrymen in which he later included Paul McCartney. A few days later young guitarist George Harrison was also include into the band. The Quarrymen went through a progression of names, including “Johnny and the Moondogs” and “Long John and The Beatles”. Sutcliffe suggested the name “The Beetles” as a tribute to Buddy Holly and The Crickets. Lennon’s first wife, Cynthia Lennon, suggested that Lennon came up with the name The Beatles at a “brainstorming session over a beer-soaked table in the Renshaw Hall bar.

 In 2004, Rolling Stone Magazine ranked The Beatles number one on its list of 100 Greatest Artist of All Time. According to Rolling Stone Magazine The Beatles helped shape the 1960’s and their influence on pop culture is still evident today.

 Today all of The Beatles music has been digitally re-mastered and with today’s technology you can easily find any of their music at any online MP3 store. With the many albums and songs created by the Beatles the search for music is endless and memorable.



Bryan

Catherine Harvey asked:


If more than one hippopotamus is called a hippopotami and more than one cactus is called cacti, then surely it follows that if you own more than one Lexus, then you own Lexi?

Lexus are forerunners in the bid to reduce emissions and save our planet with their range of hybrid vehicles and many people, particularly throughout the US, have been keen to give them a try. In the US, the public transport system is not quite as efficient as in Europe. People are spread out across the land mass and all are wanting to get somewhere as quickly as they can, whether it be the school run, gong to work, shopping for out for a super large McDonalds takeaway.

The Americans like their vehicles to be luxurious, comfortable and reliable, pretty much like the rest of us, which is why they have taken so well to the Lexus. In fact, they have taken to it much better than the Japanese who actually make the car and the Europeans who are not keen on paying so much for a method of getting from A to B when they have a pretty efficient transport system in place already.

One such American who wishes to reduce his carbon footprint by using a hybrid vehicle is Grateful Dead founder and front man, Bob Weir, who owns a 2007 Hybrid Lexus GS 450h. Environmentalist Weir purchased the car for its eco friendly qualities and ranks the car an eight out of ten. Although it is worth a full ten, Weir lives on a mountain side so doesn’t feel the full benefit of the car’s economical aspects but fully appreciates the sound system. Apparently, the driver is cocooned in silence whilst driving allowing the vehicles superb sound system to completely envelope the driver.

Another celebrity eco-warrior is Sir Paul McCartney. His tireless campaign for anything environmentally friendly has been rewarded by the gift of a Hybrid Lexus Limousine. This was in recognition of the fact that he does all he can to enlighten the public to the need for ‘green’ cars. However, Sir Paul was not best pleased when he found out that the car was flown from Japan to Britain by jet. The carbon footprint for a jet is one hundred times that of a standard method of shipping and kind of defeats the object of a ‘green’ car.

The market for hybrid cars has been slow to take off. People want to do their bit for the environment but not many people can afford the price tag that comes with it. This is something that the government should be able to tackle. Maybe if they were to subsidise it then we could all afford to do our bit.

They also do not provide the same sort of power that drivers have been used to with standard fuel cars. Technology is improving all the time in a bid to find a means of transport that not only is not harmful to the planet but that also gets us around at the speed we are used to and is accompanied by sleek, good looks. Until recently, many electric or hybrid cars looked plain silly. Tiny vehicles that were painted in lurid colours may have been good for the environment but few people are willing to drive around looking and feeling silly.

All the top car manufacturers are working on eco-friendly cars and the results are getting better by the day. Hopefully, in time, this will result in the right car, with the right look, at the right price.



Antonio

Lathum asked:


In June, Rolling Stone.com posted the results of a readers poll for the Ten Best Songwriting Duos Ever. A quick look at the top five proves two things: England has indisputably cornered the rock royalty market, and some of pop and rock’s greatest songs were created by collaboration.

1. Paul McCartney/John Lennon (the Beatles)

2. Keith Richards/Mick Jagger (Rolling Stones)

3. Elton John/Bernie Taupin (Elton John)

4. Joe Strummer/Mick Jones (the Clash)

5. Johnny Marr/Morrissey (the Smiths)

Clearly, there is no shortage of successful songwriters who prefer to work alone (Pete Townshend, Stevie Wonder, Paul Simon, Bruce Springsteen). However, judging by the caliber of music that’s been created by collaboration, there’s an undeniable argument that two heads are better than one when it comes to songwriting.

Indie darling Liz Phair put this theory to task and caused a stir when she elected to write songs for her 2003 self-titled album with Top 40 production team The Matrix. Phair, who enjoyed a faithful following and critical praise from previously released material, told Filter magazine: “I wanted to get on the radio really badly. And I don’t write those kinds of songs. I write stuff that’s quirky or more personal. So collaborating was a way to get some people who kind of know what they’re doing with chord structures, plus they’re all so talented and really great people.”

Famed songwriter Dianne Warren told John Braheny about the professional advantages a young songwriter has in working with others: “When you write with someone else, you get their whole network of contacts and people they deal with. You have a double shot of getting some major stuff happening.”

Traditionally, songwriters have found success by sitting down together with a piano and/or guitar to develop melodies and lyrics. While this method of collaboration is the most obvious, it isn’t always the easiest. If you don’t have someone living relatively nearby you’re faced with the task of traveling to meet musicians for writing sessions. Facing this dilemma, some artists have looked for other ways to create songs together.

A few years ago, the indie-electro duo The Postal Service “wrote and recorded the better part of their debut album, Give Up (Sub Pop), with no budget and while living 1,000 miles apart,” according to MTV.com. Band members Ben Gibbard (Death Cab For Cutie) and Jimmy Tamborello (Dntel) overcame the distance between them by sending music back and forth through the mail, with Jimmy handling most of the music and Ben responding with lyrics and melody. The Gold-certified success of their album means the pair will repeat the songwriting formula for a follow-up release, this time exchanging song ideas over the Internet.

No surprise, the Internet has become a good source for finding people interested in collaborating on lyrics and music. In 1998, NME reported how legendary artist David Bowie recorded a song using lyrics “written by US fan Alex Grant, who entered a songwriting competition held by Bowie on his website.”

A Google search reveals a number of sites dedicated to encouraging and connecting songwriters, such as MusesMuse, Songwriters101 and SongWriterForums. Going one step further, musicians have taken to YouTube to share ideas and invite collaborations. Once such posting by “chuckadile” includes a full backing track–complete with lead and rhythm guitars, drums and bass–with an invitation for viewers to come up with the lyrics and melody.

With thousands of people turning to sites like Echoboost.com to share their music, you might just find somebody online right now with the same taste in music who’s looking to collaborate with someone you.



Robert